Attributes of a True Friend

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The typical expression of opening friendship would be something like, “What? You too? I thought I was the only one.” +C.S. Lewis

We all have people in our lives we call friends. These individuals are like family to us. They help us grow, help us celebrate wins, help us mourn losses, help us see deficiencies, and help us when the bottom falls out on in our lives. The Bible is rich with truth about friendship and how we are to care for one another. In one sense, we are commanded to be good friends to one another as Christians. The “one anothers” in Paul’s letters in the New Testament highlight this truth.

Wisdom from the Bible

Accordingly, Proverbs 17:17 says that “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a difficult time” (CSB). A friend loves beyond expectation and never fades away with difficulty. In fact, a true friend sticks around when you are suffering. I can’t tell you how many times in my life I have had people stop coming around when I felt depressed or discouraged. Good Christian people have left my side when I needed them most. This reality has shown me what to value in a true friend. Furthermore, it has shown me the faithfulness of my God to me.

Jesus is the Greatest Friend

I am forever grateful that I have the friends that I have. I am ever more grateful for the friendship I have with Jesus. Scripture says that “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8). Christ alone is the standard for true friendship. He has never left me, failed me, judged me, mistreated me, shamed me or made me feel inferior. His heart is gracious, compassionate, understanding, empowering and faithful. The heart of Christ is full of rich mercy for suffering saints. In fact, he is drawn to sinners and sufferers (Dane Ortlund’s Gentle and Lowly). True friendship is defined by Christ, modeled by Christ and empowered by Christ.

Applying What You Know

How are you treating your friends? Do you jump ship when things get hard or do stick around to be an anchor? Sufferers need anchors when the unrelenting waves crash in-debilitating depression, crippling anxiety, crushing confusion and stubborn addiction. As Christians, we need to be faithful supporters of one another, looking out for what’s best for the other person. We cannot be prideful, self-serving, arrogant know-it-alls who exalt ourselves at the expense of others. May we seek to be like Christ in his deep heart, a refuge for the weak and heavy burdened (Matt. 11:28-30).

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